I spent Christmas with my family for the first time in four years this week.  To make it even more jarring, this was the first Christmas in probably seven years we celebrated in Seattle.

It's difficult for me to describe exactly how and why this was a weird holiday, but it really was.  The best way I can think to describe my mental state, behavior, and general temperament is to tell you that I reverted to my 17 year old self.  Any self-respecting adult among you has experienced the same thing.  Don't lie to yourselves.

I found myself doing things like slouching moodily in front of the open refrigerator staring at nothing.  Rather than buying the foods I wasn't finding in my parents (really full) fridge I just scrounged around.  I justified myself saying I wasn't going to be staying there every night, so I didn't want to buy something and waste it.  But would it really have been that difficult to buy some plain yogurt and a bag of arugula?

I also slept an average of eleven hours a night.  I even woke up after one ten hour sleep only to return to bed for a two hour nap.  You could say that I obviously needed it; I certainly push myself harder and sleep less in LA.  But is twelve hours honestly necessary three out of four nights?

And when my friends dropped me off at 1am (come on, that's early!) I realized I'd have to go in through the garage, probably waking my parents.  Immediately I imagined my mom meeting me at the top of the stairs, giving me the sniff-n-hug, which caused a huge twinge of anxiety.

Observing these behaviors in myself, I missed my autonomy.  It's like I wasn't able to take up an adult space in my parents house.  Through no fault of theirs, I became an emotional, antisocial, contrary little bitch, rather than asserting myself as a grownup individual.

And I missed LA.  When I thought about coming back here to my unattached single life, for the first time I felt really okay about floating free.  Maybe that's selfish, or childish, or escapist, but I am really enjoying it.  In my little world I can get as weird as I want, and when I'm pouting in front of the refrigerator I have only myself to blame.

Holy shit I'm a finalist!

Hey friends!  The music video I shot in October is a finalist in the Original iPhone Film Festival!  Hurray!  We need to collect votes to win.  If you follow the link you can watch the videos and vote by liking it.  Our video is called "Vessel", it's the second one.  Thanks for the support!

http://originaliphonefilmfest.com/show.html

A Starving Artist's Guide to Shopping

Christmas is upon us (because having "last Christmas, I gave you my heart" stuck in your head didn't make that obvious) and once again I find myself finally getting into the black.  So it's obviously a great time for me to buy a bunch of expensive shit no one needs and spend a lot to ship it across the country.  Normally this makes me feel tense and agitated, leading me to stop working out and subsist only on red wine and chocolate for the duration of December.

This year, however, I'm not as anxious.  Any gifts I give this year will be used or (re)created or both.  Because I will be looking in thrift stores for gifts, I'm not able to go out and buy exactly that one thing that my mom doesn't need.  It's definitely limiting.  However, thrifting for gifts also gives me a special freedom.  Knowing that I probably won't be able to find something specific, I've released from the big idea of The Perfect Gift and am open to spontaneous gift inspiration.

It feels pretty good.  For whatever reason I've been able to let go of the stress of buying.  Maybe it's also because I'm not going to malls and big box stores, being assaulted by advertising and frantic music and overwhelming displays and screaming kids and a the same three colors over and over.

So let me tell you where I'll be shopping this year:

Out of The Closet on Glendale Blvd in Atwater Village.  This thrift store is new to me since I've moved to the new hood, and I got to say, I'm here at least once a week.  It is by far the best in the Out of the Closet chain I've found.  I've bought furnishings and art and also jewelry and clothes.  Usually I find it's one or the other with a donation based store, but this location obviously has some great folks donating.  Oh yeah, and lots of books.  Lots.

Crossroads Trading Company on Hyperion and Griffith Park Blvd in Silverlake.  I can walk to this store.  So obviously I spend too much money there.  I justify it because I'm getting a LOT more for my money, and still spending less than those who buy new.  For those of you who aren't familiar with this genre of resale boutique,  the clothes are all in fashion, and generally in great condition.  It's possible to find designer items there, but it's also totally possible to get things for less than $10.  As with all thrift stores, I recommend going in with a loose list of items you might like to find, then keeping an open mind.  Who knows what you'll find?

National Council of Jewish Women Thrift Shop on Ventura in Studio City.  I used to come to this place weekly when I lived in the neighborhood, and I still make excuses to go there whenever I'm in the area.  It's great.  I typically find lots of books, as well as really great furniture and art.  I haven't shopped much for the clothes, but I think that's because I have a preconceived idea that I won't find anything.  In reality, I think it's like most thrift stores: you have to be willing to sift through a bunch of crap to find a gem.

Mercer Island Youth and Family Services Thrift Shop in my hometown.  I have to throw a shoutout to this place.  I've been shopping there for 15 years, and it's consistently awesome.  Great clothes, great books, great everything.  When we were kids we used to go in there and find sequined sweaters and pilfer the 10 cent tee-shirt bin (as my friend Devin said recently, "10 cent tee-shirts was my jam").  I still have an awesome tee-ball shirt from those days.  I make a point to visit it every time I'm in Seattle.  Usually more than once.

Check these places out.  Chances are you'll find something cool and unusual, and it feels like finding buried treasure.  Who wouldn't like that?