Five Gifts

I spent five days in the state of New York this week.  I got back really late Tuesday (really early Wednesday) and I have been meaning to write about the experience since then.  By my count this is the sixth time I have flown somewhere since moving into my apartment fifteen months ago.  Four (count them!) times to Seattle (freedom festival in May, Corey and Isaacs wedding in August - which included a trip within a trip to Victoria BC, Christmas, and my parent's 40th anniversary in March).  Additionally I flew to Boston in September for a funeral.  I also took a road trip to Big Sur in June.  Whew.  I'm sort of exhausted just thinking about it.

Those are my best friends from college.  I really love those bitches.  The last time I saw them all was in September in Boston.  So not under the best circumstances.  We have known each other for ten years, which is pretty fucking awesome, and we all agreed that it was time to meet up for a not-sad, not-wedding reason (not that there's anything wrong with weddings, but it's difficult for the wedder to get down).  So we did!  At that sassy girl with the arm's family cabin in upstate New York.  We had a really lovely time.  We drank wine and ate food and hiked and caught up and went swimming (skinny dipping in some cases).  We revealed painful truths and cried and had a lovefest.  It was like Sex in the City meets The Witches of Eastwick but with more girls, less sex (zero, actually) and more fun.

I've been through some tough shit with those girls.  Seeing them, I remembered why we became such good friends in the first place.  They get me in a way that other people down.  They have five hands in the formation of now-me.  And they understand me, in ways other people never could, by virtue of the trials we've passed together.  We are all facing the same frustrations and obstacles now.  They are like five mirrors reflecting back at me, revealing different sides of myself.  I don't always like the things I see in the mirror (literally and figuratively), but seen through the prism of my lovely friends those things get scaled down to their proper size: miniscule.

So often lately I feel like an outsider.  A loner.  That's okay.  I'm trying to embrace my introvert, and to be okay with loneliness although it's not my first choice.  But seeing those ladies reminded me that I do have a very deep community.  Just because it's not within reach at all times makes it no less real.  Those girls women are five gifts to me.  I cherish their friendship.

I'm not wild about the idea of traveling any time soon.  I need a break.  But I'm really glad I took the time to make that trip.  And even my desire to get home to LA two days earlier than I was supposed to is okay.  Because I realized that although I lately feel like I'm awash in the flood at the end of O Brother Where Art Thou, LA is my home now.  And even though I don't always know what road I'm on or where it leads, there are five ladies all over the country wearing matching shoes, worrying about the same blisters on their feet.

Tearing the World Apart

Let me tell you a little more about the show I'm currently working on.

Tearing the World Apart falls into the categories of experimental, physical, and dance theatre.  It consists of a series of vignettes exploring the title theme.  The vignettes include dance choregraphy, physical interpretation of text, physical improvisation, performance poetry, music and paint.

When I auditioned for this show I knew unfailingly that I had something to offer. I tore my own world apart last year; I've been sharing that journey fairly publicly here, in the hopes that it would resonate with other people, and also as my own method of therapy.  If you come see my show, you can join me and two other performers on the ride.  Heartbreak is definitely one aspect of the theme we explore.  We also explore some of the revolutions and riots of the last year, and the pervasive sense of dissatisfaction that floats around.  And we'll share with you our dreams for the future.  Because if you're going to destroy everything as you know it, hopefully you'll have something in mind to replace it with.

What I've been up to lately

It's been a while since I posted anything!  Honestly, I feel like a lot of the balls I was juggling have dropped for the moment.  Balls like social life, street art photography and tagging, and blogging.  Most of my extra time has been taken up with rehearsals for Hollywood Fringe Festival 2012.  It's a piece of experimental dance-theatre called Tearing the World Apart.  I've been in rehearsals three times a week since the middle of April helping develop this short piece (only 45 minutes).  We're exploring the theme of what happens when you're pushed to the edge, what happens when the world as you know it hangs in the balance, will you push forward to create change? even if that involves the painful destruction of all you know?  Just to make it even more fun, we're using projections, original sound design and performance poetry, and LIVE PAINTING.  It's messy.

        Working on this piece so far has been awesome.  It's been a while since I've done any physical theatre; I'm reminded of why I love it.  As an artist my goal is to serve as a vehicle for expression, to go places that others are unwilling or unable to explore, to take viewers on journeys they wouldn't embark on alone.  This piece, this strange little avantgarde piece of theatre so far has given me that.

And that's kind of the problem.  This piece is developing into something intensely personal.  How could it not?  I'm collaborating with an amazing team of artists (director Naomi Bennet, playwright Barbara Ishida, cocreator Mercedes Manning, actor Alejandro Ruiz, actor Carrie Newell, production designer Heather Fipps, and a couple of other people I haven't met) to create a piece of theatre taking into account the state of the world today, along with our personal stories.  So along the way, my feelings and my journey have wormed their way into the piece.  And that's kind of scary.

So here it is, I'm asking you to come out and see it.  It frightens me to do so, because you may come see this piece and think it's weird.  You might not get it.  You might disagree with some of what's said.  You may learn more about me than I am comfortable telling you.  You may hate it.  Or you might love it.  You might see something like you've never seen before.  You might learn more about me than I'm comfortable telling you.  You might be motivated to take the plunge and change your own world a little bit.

There are a few ways you can support me in this.  Come to our fundraiser on Saturday at 12pm.  We will perform an excerpt of the piece, and then invite the audience to join us to play with paint.  Come get messy!  It's $20, which is kind of steep, but all proceeds go to supplies and rehearsals space and costumes and that kind of good stuff.  If you have kids, bring them!  It will be fun!

Or come see the show!  We have three performances: Sunday June 17 at 5pm, Saturday June 23 at 3pm, and Sunday June 24 at 4:30pm.  It's $10, but if you're really broke I can get you a discount.  Or if you come to the fundraiser AND the performance we have discounts for you.

Or you can donate directly via Indiegogo.  I would really appreciate your support in any capacity.  I feel awkward asking people to give money to something, or to come to a fundraiser and a performance, but I guess I've just got to be humble.  Please help.  Even if all you do is come see me perform, I will notice.  And you'll get something out of it too, I promise.  All my love to you all, thanks for reading!

Mistake!

Never make the mistake
of looking at the Lost and Found page
on Craig's List.
A sadder thing you'll never find.

Sample subject headings read:
LOST!!! Male Jackapoo SoFierce
missing cat (neptune's net)
Lost - Two white doves
Lost Cat/Gato Perdido - Grey and White

Messages include identifying marks and habits,
different colored collars,
and where they were last scene.
Honest unaffected cries to the community at large:
"Please help me find my dog!!!"
"If you have any info, please contact me.  We miss her."

These messages tug at my heart.
I've lost cats.  Not Zaphod.
Normally I skim the internet,
here I take in every word.

Have you seen me?

Miike Snow at the El Rey

I saw Miike Snow at the El Rey on Tuesday.  They played Wednesday too, and also both weekends at Coachella.  I wish I could've gone to all four shows.  I wish I was there right now.

I had one of those ecstatic crowd experiences; everyone was in an awesome, great mood.  We were all there to enjoy the music and the show.  There was no bullshit or drama or weirdness.  Just a bunch of hipsters having a merry old time.

When the show started (I'm sorry to say I didn't recognize the song they led with, so I can't link to it here) the band came out wearing matching black satin jackets with hoods and bronze neutral masks.  Their set consisted of a large circular console in the middle of the stage, painted black and fronted with rows of gold lights.  With the massive amounts of smoke and the yellow lights the whole thing gave the effect of a spaceship made of fire. Manned by attractive aliens.  I turned to my friend and say, real excited like, "I love space!"  I realized after the fact that, out of context, this could've been a confusing statement.

I don't consider myself a music reviewer.  I don't have the vocabulary, and also I sometimes feel shy about my musical taste, because some of it wanders towards what some might call "techno" (slander!).  So I'm not going to go into great detail about the music.  But I'll say this, my only gripe about the show (other than the abysmal opener, The Big Pink) was the lack of dancing space.  But I can't really complain about that because I got down despite the tight quarters, and everyone was busy having too much fun to mind the occasional neighborly bump.

I feel like Miike Snow is intelligent music for science fiction nerds that like to dance.  I feel like Miike Snow is branded towards people who reread Fahrenheit 451 every couple years and are ashamed to admit they like "Toxic" by Britney Spears.  Miike Snow, for me, builds upon my years of listening to David Bowie and DJ Shadow and Massive Attack and Daft Punk and makes perfect sense.  I'm friggin obsessed right now.  They put on a great show-it kind of made my week.